Machiavellian Social Power

When it comes to maintaining power and influence over people, it is better to be loved than feared, but if you cannot swing being loved, go for fear. This was the advice Machiavelli gave to the budding Medici Family to encourage their burgeoning rule, but it is not what we think of when we think of people being Machiavellian or powerful. After all, common knowledge is that people will lie and manipulate to get power, and any love that powerful people appear to have for their subordinates is simply a façade.

His opinion remains though: it is best for power to be loved.

I don't think this is too far off from the truth. When I look around me (not at politicians, but just in my day-to-day work place and social circles), it is the caring people who become the center of attention and garner respect. Granted, their will always be bullies, whiners, codependent blowhards, and histrionics that will force themselves into the limelight, but these people are not tolerated or liked for long and the caring, genuine, socially interesting person is almost brought right back into the center.

And of course you like to put them there. They never think they deserve it, blush when you point it out, because it can't possibly be right. But their modesty somehow makes them even more appealing, and they're given more and more power. They get busier and busier as you have to fight off all those suck ups who just like them because they're head of the group (unlike you, you OG you). Soon, they are the deciding vote, theirs is the opinion that matters the most, because they have everyone's need at heart.

I sometimes worry I'm just a big cynic. Surely these are the people we want to have power though, right? Those who love others first should be the ones we trust with power.

Here's another opinion: power corrupts.

In a fascinating study by Dacher Keltner, it's found that those who are put in a position power due to social influence begin to operate like every other "corrupted leader" out there. The argument could be made that any who finds themselves in a position of power just played the game and eventually their "true colors" show. I think it's far more likely that their are certain temptations that can overpower people on a throne.

I find this frightening. Empathy can give a person power, yet power will eventually destroy that empathy. When power and kindness are tied together, kindness will be the thing that gives way. It leaves me asking the question, "Is it even possible to have power and keep your soul?"

Seriously. Stop and think. It's not an easy answer, and I doubt you're an exception to it. Hell, I know I'm not. I get completely egotistical and self-aggrandizing when I get asked to lead a group project, let alone what'd happen to the poor souls under me if I was given a promotion.

I think awareness of this difficulty is one defense a person can have against letting power ruin empathy. Self-effacement keeps you blind to your behavior, and it's easy to take advantage of people when you don't think yourself capable of it.

Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh here. Bullies in power are far worse than those who get there through social kindness. I suppose I just get sad, because bullies seem to me less tragic than the fall of someone who is good (so good that we put them in power because of their goodness). But maybe I have hope that if you can catch a good person early enough they may not be corrupted.

And I think it's important for a curmudgeon like myself to hold onto hope when I can find it.